In the case that your ex is paying attention to you, or acts like they would like to be with you again, or you pickup on signal your ex is basically flirting with you again…chances are that you can hope, but can you really bet on it? Do you wonder “Is my ex really trying to get back together with me”?

These signs do show interest, on the part of your ex, in getting back together with you. But do not just go running back though if you truly want to get your ex back. It is always best to play a bit “hard to get” as the saying goes, in fact that is probably what will make your ex respond to the best. If you just go charging back in, you will probably scare your ex completely away. If indeed your ex is showing signs of wanting you back, then you acting a bit “hard to get” is probably the reason why!

Most of the times when a breakup occurs with an ex, one or the other one of you misses the other one, or considers getting back together. This is more true when a relationship has lasted a long time. Because of all the memories involved for this time, your ex will more than likely miss you in some way. But past regrets may be one of the other emotions to come into the picture. In the case that you are pondering “ Is my ex really wanting to get me back”, the chance just may be that they actually are feeling the same way.

Many of the times that the ex shows attention to you after the break up has happened, they are only having some fun with you. They can sense when you still love them, this may make them just see if they can get your head to turn in their direction, and not be thinking at all about getting you back. So be sure that your ex truly wants to get back with you, and not just playing around, because they have no one else to spend time with. And in extreme cases they may simply be trying to get revenge, because they feel they have been wronged. So do not just rush right back into the relationship without knowing for sure your ex’s real intentions.

This is quite normal, and many time people ask themselves “Is my ex wanting to get back with me”, but just be cautious before rushing in and know what really is going on. Playing hard to get is probably the best thing you can do, if your ex is showing signs of want you to come back, this way you will not be hurt if they are not genuine about getting your back.

You know that in order to make up with your ex, you need to communicate personally with him/her to sort out all the problems. But sometimes, this is the hardest part of the equation. No matter how many phone calls, text messages, emails and IMs you sent, your ex does not seem to give any response. It’s frustrating to be out of touch with your ex when you are desperately want to seriously work on repairing the relationship.

So you might be wondering, are there ‘magic’ words you can use to get your ex to return your calls? Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words that work like charms to make your ex feels almost helpless to not returning your call. I am going to share this with you because this is one of the biggest questions I get from people just like you who are trying to put their relationship back together.

Before we get into the magic words, let’s go over what messages that are almost NEVER work. First, the plead- where the message sounds like, “Tom, please, please call me. I’m begging you. This is the 7th time I called. I have to talk to you.” And the emergency, “Amy, this is an emergency, Please call me as soon as you get this.” I’m sure you can see what’s wrong with both approaches, so I won’t waste your time…

Now for the interesting part- How to use two of the most powerful forces in the human mind i.e. curiosity and self-interest to your advantage. Here’s the BIG secret…when you combine the two, you have a formula that works magic. Here’s a message that works nearly every time: “Hi Amy. This is Tom. I want to let you know I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I want to thank you in person.”

Can you see how both curiosity and self-interest are perfectly integrated into this simple message? After hearing this, Amy will not stop thinking, “What did I do?”, “What does he appreciate?” She will feel good because it is a positive message and won’t be able to resist calling Tom back ASAP.

Of course you should not use this technique blindly without preparation. You need to do the “set up”…which is figuring out what he/she did that you appreciate. It can be any small thing…but needs to be plausible. Be sincere in your words and your ex will respect you more.

Please have an underlying strategy before you call. If you apply this method without an underlying strategy and your ex calls you back, you can do more damage than good if you do not handle it correctly. Do you get it? All I’m saying is…what you do before, during and after you get your ex to return your call is MORE important than getting the return call itself. Make sense? So have a PLAN!

This is a short video by T.W. Jackson, the author of The Magic of Making Up, discussing about what is the first step you should take after a break up.

This is a very counter-intuitive move and you might not agree with it at first. I suggest you watch this video until the end so you get the complete picture of what he’s trying to say- and you’ll understand how effective this method is.

Click the play button to start watching…

It is always a heartbreaking ordeal when the one that you love decides to let you go. The feelings of hurt and grief can send you into a tailspin of crazy emotions. One day you’re fine, then the next day you’re constantly crying over them, and before you know it, you feel as if you cannot go on with your life without them. Being in love is a strong emotion to have to experience alone. Sometimes we let our hearts take over our minds and our actions, leading to an even more devastating outcome.

Here are the 5 most common bad mistakes that people tend to make after a breakup:

1. They throw pity parties. If you have caught yourself doing this, then you do not need to do it anymore. Instead of causing your ex to want you again, it only makes them feel sorry for you. You should never expect someone to fall in love with another person out of pity. If they do get back together with you out of pity, then it will not last long. The reasons for your reuniting need to be genuine and true. Feeling sorry for yourself does no good when trying to win back your ex. Your best bet is to accept the breakup and learn how to play it cool.
2. Some people beg, and this is not good either. You should never try to make someone feel as if they need to be with you. That is a sure fire way to push them away. When you back off and just let things be, it will make the other person feel less threatened, and they will be more likely to ask you back out. If you do not beg, you become more approachable.
3. They terrorize them constantly with phone calls, emails, and text messages. This behavior will only annoy them and cause them to feel better about breaking up with you in the first place. The last thing that you want to do is to seem annoying to your ex. Calling constantly makes you seem desperate, and it will not work to get them back.
4. They try to make their ex’s jealous. This one is obvious and pathetic. An ex can always tell if you are trying to make them jealous on purpose and if you still have feelings for them. The best thing to do is to go out without trying to make them jealous. When they see that you are having a genuine good time, they will become drawn to you once more. Nothing should ever be forced, especially when it comes to a relationship.
5. Some people try to taunt their ex’s and bring up old arguments. Taunting and arguing are a big no-no when trying to win back their feelings for you. If you find yourself arguing with your ex, then you need to reevaluate your reasons for wanting them back and ask yourself if all of the fusses are worth it. Bringing up the past is also never a successful way to win them back because it can help to remind them of the reasons why they do not want you now. You should always try to seem nonchalant and agreeable when trying to get them back.

It will be quite obvious if they want you back or not. Someone that is truly in love with you will not leave you. Sometimes, people just need time to think. But all of the nagging, begging, and crying in the world cannot make someone love you. If the feelings are true, they will naturally resurface on both ends.